Breaking the Silence by Lisha Lender

Author:Lisha Lender
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Religion/Christian Ministry/Youth/Counseling
Publisher: Elm Hill
Published: 2019-09-12T16:00:00+00:00

Figure 2 Image taken from LifeWay Research. Used by permission.

“The recent LifeWay Research pastor’s survey is one of the first of its kind on the topic of domestic violence.”2

Abuse rips at the very core of who a person is and until the church starts to deal with abuse as a real problem and name it for what it is, victims will continue to leave the church.

When children are taught to pray, adults assume they are only able to grasp the most basic foundations of prayer, but for abuse victims, this is not enough. Victims need to know what prayer is really about.

These hurting, broken kids are praying for the abuse to stop, they are praying that Dad won’t hit Mom again, they are praying that the abuser won’t come around again, or they are praying that someone will just figure out what is happening without them having to actually tell someone. Kids are taught that God loves them and will answer their prayers.

But what happens when God doesn’t show up?

“Kearney (2001) writing about the treatment of sexually abused children and their families, proposes that abuse raises such questions as: ‘Why does God let this happen?’ ‘Has God abandoned me?’ Or ‘Am I being punished?’ and creates theological concerns that are difficult for families to address.”3

We aren’t teaching kids about the evil world we live in. We aren’t teaching them that bad things happen, but God doesn’t cause those bad things to happen. We aren’t teaching them that God does not always answer our prayers the way we want them to be answered. It can be difficult for young kids to grasp some of these ideas, but when we are working with teenagers there is no reason we are not dealing with their pain and being honest about who God is and how this world works.

Kids are confused because church teaches that sex outside of marriage is a sin and yet they are having sex every week (for many victims it can be everyday) with a father or stepfather who regularly attends church also. This may also be the father who, while he is having sex with his daughter, tells her God will not forgive her because she is causing this behavior to happen!

What greater damage can be done to the soul of a child! To be blamed for this behavior that she hates, she knows is wrong, and she does not want it to happen, and yet she is told it is her fault!

Diane Langberg Ph.D. is a well-known Christian psychologist in the field of child abuse and domestic violence, a much sought-after speaker and author. She said, “You can make sense of sexual abuse and no God, or God and no sexual abuse. But how do you tolerate the two realities together?”4

Kids are not allowed to swear or use foul language at church or at school, but this is the type of language they hear at home all the time, and it is used against them! When we hear

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